|Super Bossa Nova|
I needed cheering up with a nice bright colour because I'm back to feeling bad again. Yesterday I went to work. I was cranky and irritable with the kids, they're all sick to and I went from feeling alright to feeling awful again pretty fast. I took today off to visit the doctor. Who asked me why I'd gone into work and told me to take the week off. She was on mums side...more concerned about the wedding than my work.
It's the last week of term. There's only 2 days left and they would have been easy days. I want to see my class before the holidays and I want to see all the staff. I wish the doctor had just written me a medical certificate for Wednesday and Thursday but she made it through till Monday! Now I'm worried everyone's going to hate me for taking three days off. Especially my last day at school before my wedding...which they can't come to because it's in Rarotonga. I'm going in Friday for morning tea, but I feel so bad that the principal felt like he had to tell me that the staff wanted to do something for me. Like I was forgetting about them or something...
It doesn't help I kept having patches where I feel fine...and then the head starts hurting and my stomach feels queasy and I start coughing again and I remember that actually I am still sick and need to be 100% for the wedding. But I still feel bad and selfish.
Wow I'm crazy and such a people pleaser. One day I'll turn around and just say 'screw you I'm doing what I want'... but it wont be anytime soon. In the mean time I'll worry about upsetting people and continue to feel guilty.